Yesterday I received this question: “Tom – I am having a lot of trouble even saying I believe I can heal, because I don’t understand what it means to heal from grief.”
I don’t believe healing is a destination. I don’t believe I’ll wake up one day and say, “Done with that. I’m all healed now.” Rather, for me, I believe healing now becomes my way of being in the world. My intention, my hope, my prayer is that I heal more and more with each passing day.
We each determine the speed at which we heal. And healing begins with setting the intention.
I wish I believed I could heal.
I will heal.
I can heal.
I am healing.
So ~ what does it mean to heal from grief?
So many things.
Moving into a space of gratitude.
Being so grateful that they came at all.
That they touched our lives.
That they love us and that we love them.
Being able to look at photos
with deep gratitude.
Working hard to end the war
you have been waging with life itself.
Being willing and able to live life as it is
and not as you wish it was
or think it should be.
not giving up
but surrendering to what is.
Forgiving all of them
for absolutely everything.
For what they said
and for what they didn’t say.
For what they did
and for what they didn’t do.
Noticing the colors of life again.
Enjoying a cup of coffee.
Being comfortable in your own skin.
Feeling passionate about something.
Much more often than you say no.
Figuring out why exactly you came to this planet in the first place.
Figuring out a way to give meaning
to all you’ve lived through.
Being able to sit
with the next person who hears the devastating
about their beloved.
Healing from grief is not easy.
It is hard
It requires a Herculean effort
and over again.
is it worth the effort and work.
That’s some of
what it means to me to heal from grief.
What does healing from grief mean to you?
Tom Zuba is a Life Coach, speaker, author and a bereaved father. During his 20+ year grief journey Tom learned “A New Way to Do Grief”, rooted in hope, that offers the promise of a new, full, joy-filled life.